You would then meet bad people as you go through life. It’s unavoidable, whether it’s a pessimistic family member, a friend who doesn’t respect your time, or a manipulative boss.
Even though this might seem like a minor problem, these kinds of people can be dangerous to your health and well-being.
For one thing, they can take a lot of your time and effort.
For example, when you get home from work, you might spend the rest of the night complaining about a co-worker with your partner, which could put a strain on your relationship.
A friend who always shows up late would be another example. So, if you were supposed to meet them for lunch, you’ll have to change the rest of your afternoon plans because they were late.
Also, they might make you lose your cool, which can lead to bad emotions like anger, resentment, and low self-esteem.
And this could make your life even more stressful. Maybe this is why people who have more bad relationships are more likely to get heart disease.
Even worse? Toxicity is contagious. The reason is that it’s a natural defense mechanism. Howard Bloom writes in The Lucifer Principle that increased toxicity was one of the first ways that organisms changed over time. In order to stay alive, this bacteria had to become more toxic.
At the same time, this term is used too loosely, so before you do anything else, you should be able to recognize the warning signs. Barrie Sueskind, a relationship expert and therapist in Los Angeles, says the following are:
- self-centeredness or a focus on oneself and other forms of emotional abuse
- not being honest and lying
- difficulty showing kindness to other people
- a tendency to cause trouble or drama
If you know anyone who does any of these, you might want to get rid of them. This won’t be simple. But it’s what’s best for you.
1- Tell them what you think.
Even though you don’t have to tell them why, this is probably more for you. You don’t want to keep your feelings to yourself, after all.
If you want to end the relationship, tell the other person in a calm way and don’t fight back if they do. If it makes you feel better, you might want to do this somewhere public.
2- Give yourself some space from them.
You might want to break up with the person for good. If that’s the case, you might just want to pull off the bandage. This means you can’t talk to them at all.
If you don’t want to go that far, especially if it’s a family member, try to give yourself some space from them.
You could stop following them on social media or only plan to see them once or twice a year. If they ask you to hang out, tell them you already have plans and will have to do a rain check.
3- Make clear rules.
“Toxins need to be met with a strong force,” says Tara Mackey, author of Cured by Nature and founder of The Organic Life. “They probably won’t just say, “Go away,” and they might even dig their claws in deeper if you try to push them away. Don’t let this discourage you.”
Be clear about what you want to do, and stick to the limits you’ve set.
Mackey says, “Stick to your boundaries over time, or toxic people will use any weakness to get back into your life.” “Don’t answer their texts if you told yourself you wouldn’t.
Block their number and all of their social media accounts. Don’t send them any emails and don’t look for them in six months.”
4- Don’t let a crisis pull you in.
Even if you stand your ground, toxic people will still find a way to pull you back in.
Maybe they’ll call you because they need help with a family problem. It’s likely that they’re just trying to get you back into their life. Even though it will hurt, be strong and don’t fall into this trap.
Remember that you don’t have to be their shoulder to cry on all the time. And if they really do need help, point them in the right direction.
5- Spend more time with people who make you feel good.
Spend less time and energy on people who are bad for you and more time with people who are positive and helpful.
In short, they should like you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself. Most importantly, they should be people you like spending time with.
Does this mean they can never say anything bad about someone? Of course not. But it’s constructive criticism, which means that both good and bad feedback is given in a friendly way.
6- Talk to someone.
You might not think of it this way, but when you cut someone out of your life, you are breaking up with them. Because of this, you might feel sad about the end of the relationship. Talk to people who care about you or a mental health professional you trust to help you deal with these feelings.
7.Forgive but don’t forget.
Steve Spring says in a Medium post that forgiveness is about letting go and moving on with your life. “It doesn’t mean that you agree with the behavior or forget how it has hurt you in the past. That doesn’t mean you’re giving them a second chance. I just mean that you are moving on with your life and letting go.”